I'm a worrier. I worry about alot of things. I worry about things that I shouldn't worry about. But I worry anyways. I'm 28 and I have gray hair...alot of gray hair. It began roughly 8 years ago. I'm certain that the hue of my hair and the worrying are closely related. Maybe, maybe not.
I love my life...about 95% of the time. The 5% of the time spent on worrying frustrates me.
Most of the time I try to be a positive person. This is sometimes hindered by others around me and their negativity. I've decided to be silent when such negativity occurs. I realized (recently, hopefully not too late) that wasting a single breath during such rants only fuels their miserable fire. There is sooo much more to worry about than what they choose to spit out...believe me...I know! At these times I feel quite alone...and the worry then transforms into anger. Once I'm out of the environment it's like a HUGE weight has been lifted from me. But here I type...24 hours later...still full of worry.
I was going to list the current worries...but I didn't want to worry others (mainly Momma)...don't worry Momma, I'm fine (for the most part)...just needing to get this out. :)
I agree that the glass is twice as big as it needs to be...and therefore I believe that things/life/nature/the world has it's own way balancing itself out.
Recently I have been changing my lifestyle up a bit...in a good way (i.e. more yoga, less libations, more self reflection, etc.) I have discovered that I do not have an addictive personality. I am not addicted to anything...except maybe traveling but as I can't do it everyday...it's not possible to be a full out addiction for me.
Is it possible that I am addicted to worrying?
I worry that I will always worry. Perhaps a change of scenery...down the road will change my worries...at least my frivolous ones.
I just started following a "friend's" blog...he just joined the Peace Corps and he's now in El Salvador. Amazing. Could I ever do that? Talking about Sezin' the Day...taking risks...that's a risk of the highest caliber to me. But you know what...it's not totally out of the question.
I'm not afraid of much...but I do worry.
much love
And she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
~The Beach Boys
2 comments:
Me, too... It runs in the family. When someone tells me aunt not to worry, she (jokingly?) says, "Well then who will?!"
I'd love to know what it feels like not to worry.
But hey - any little bit you can give up is good, right? Does the yoga help? I think learning how to be still might help.
Three things:
1) I got my gray hair when I was about 21 also.
2) That Beach Boys song, along with "In My Room", is one of the few that I like, aside from the "Pet Sounds" and "Smiley Smile" albums, which are absolute genius. If I ever meet Brian Wilson, I want to give him a hug.
3) Try not to worry too much about things. I wish I could have told my younger self that many times.
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